Today I got on the scale. I was hoping for a big number. I completely obeyed my Weight Watchers plan. Stayed within my points. Got extra activity points for Zumba, Spin Class, Swimming, Jogging/Walking and Weight training. I had three beers all week. I cooked things like grilled chicken caprese with very little cheese and zucchini oven-baked chips instead of fries. I went to the farmers’ market and bought fresh produce. I ate bulgur, black beans, quinoa and lots and lots of lettuce. I ate protein, drank lots and lots of water. Ate lots and lots of veggies. Are we seeing at theme here?

I entered my WW class where people where every week we clap for the people in the class to acknowledge their accomplishments. Each week I keep thinking they will hopefully clap for me. After all, I’m making healthy changes each week and trying to be more active. Just this past week alone I did five completely different workouts. My son found it particularly interesting to see me do the Zumba Wii game and giggled with delight at my attempts of Latin dancing. If it were American Idol or the Gong show I would have been booted off immediately. But I kept on dancing. My calf is bruised to hell from the spin bike episode where my bike was the wrong size (see earlier post) and apparently I was still not even riding it correctly. To think I’ve done triathlons yet can’t even ride a stationery bike without injuring myself in some way. And I swam, which was sheer delight, even though my 800 yards were not quite the time I would have liked. But hopefully tomorrow I’ll swim 1000!

So today, I thought, this would be my big week. Maybe 2 pounds lost? “you’ve maintained your weight from last week” She said. MAINTAINED? As in, did not even lose an ounce? Which yes, they count the ounces. I wanted to scream W-T-F at the bubbly teacher but decided against it. I sulked privately, sat down in the back of the room and listened as we celebrated so and so’s 5 percent loss, so and so’s 10 percent loss and one girl even reached her goal weight!

I walked across campus back to my office (2 activity points) and found an email waiting for me. It said, Do one thing every day that makes you happy. I started thinking about this and realized how much I love it. I think it’s easy to get caught up in all the fast-paced, millions of things we must do every day. If I want to drink a glass of wine because it makes me happy, so be it (just need to log my points in my Weight Watchers queue). If it makes me happy to let my son stay up 15 minutes later, and probably makes him happy too, so be it. We are not guaranteed another day on this planet and while I am trying very hard to make myself healthier, I need to make sure I am happy too.

I think I forget sometimes to do something just for the sake of pure enjoyment. It’s so hard to get into a routine, esp during the week, that maybe I forget to get off of auto-pilot and do something like drive the long way round or stop to smell the proverbial flowers. To me, rolling down the windows and singing at the top of my lungs makes me happy. It doesn’t add any calories nor hurt anyone else, except maybe the passenger in my car or the person I drive by who crashes from laughing so hard.

But mostly I thought about the email and how I don’t need to beat myself up for not being a certain number on the scale. If I know I am eating healthy and being active more days than not, then that’s the best I can ask of myself right now. But life will sure be a lot happier if I take one moment a day to do something that makes me happy. Thankfully, food does not make me happy but rather a long phone call with a friend does. Playing my guitar for 20 minutes and going through old photo albums. These are things that maybe I forget to do because I’m so focused on other activities. But now on, I will try to do at least one thing a day that makes me happy. I’m guessing some of the other struggles will come much easier.