I’ve always been fat. Not just overweight, but fat. Growing up maybe not as much and in high school not nearly what I am today, but I was never the skinny girl. I was thankfully not ever one to let it get in the way of most things I wanted in life but there have been a few stings here and there that kept me in check regarding how I really looked in the mirror. Sadly those have come more from my parents than teasing classmates, which I’ve never understood. They must think I’m blind in both eyes and never look in the mirror. But I’ve never been in denial, I’ve just never let it be something that I let depress me. But I’ve also never really taken much care of the situation until a few years back.

In 2005, after a  life-altering car wreck, I decided it was time to make some changes in my life. Not just my weight but my entire outlook on things. I completely changed my diet and began exercising. It was so liberating. I changed my way of thinking and became more positive. I dubbed it, “The Year of the Bac.” I saw dramatic changes in my overall health and the scale began to move down. I completed something I’d never thought possible: a triathlon, and came in next to last. Still, I had won in my eyes by completing it and was moving in a new direction.

With the above changes came the love of my life and the next few happiest years of my life. I had a job I wanted and had dreamed of, the man of my dreams, a nice home that I owned and the knowledge and power to make myself be who I wanted to be. I never became skinny-mini but I felt and was healthy. And now looking at pictures, I know I was in the best shape I’d been in since high school.

We all know that getting married can sometimes equal weight gain and I slipped into some old habits like a comfortable shoe. Slowly, weight has crept back and I’ve found myself with no excuses for why I quit working out. I had a baby and actually Lost weight believe it or not so I can’t say it’s baby fat lurking around. And now that my husband is back on the day shift for working AND I have a free gym membership in my same building at work, I can’t really pretend there is any other reason for why I’m not working out.

The thing is, I do love working out. I love the feeling of power, I love the competition with myself and I love the results. I know nothing worth doing comes easy and I am not looking for a quick fix.

So with knowledge comes power and because I have already been down this road before, and know it is possible, I am not afraid. It is more that I HAVE to make some changes if I want to be healthy for my baby and attractive to my husband. I know he loves me no matter what but I want to feel my best for him and myself. And now, I do not.

So I’m going to make 2013 the Year of J B Clark. (Since the Year of The Bac is already over). But it will start in 2012. It just might take a few months into 2013 to really see results, hah. I’ve joined Weight Watchers at work,, which is going well. I’m getting back in the pool, on the bike and walking. And most important, I am going to do another triathlon next spring/summer. I’ll chronicle my road to my success year here. Day one in the pool begins in a few hours. Sadly, I doubt I’ll swim more than a 500. But you gotta start somewhere, right?